Chapter 218 To Be Happy No Matter What Happens, Try to Cut Off All Possible Material Attachments: Then Comes Equanimity…



In this book, we have carefully gone over the central focus, which is a better life than you are used to living.  To bring yourself, your soul to a place where it cannot be rocked back and forth by the whimsical winds of fate… We determined what makes people happy and what makes people unhappy.  We have carefully concluded that our current Society makes it hard to be happy for the individual, with its focus on all things material, on power, on possessions, on youth, on being famous…basically all the things that will make you Unhappy in the long run.  Break all of those attachments, and then let the light shine through!


This is not just a supposition.  It is not a theory.  It is an axiom.  It is like a set of laws that we have proven over these chapters.  After all these examinations, the proof is right there in front of you, in plain logic.  Let’s briefly review how listening to Society WILL make you unhappy, every…single…time.


Consider the Society’s obsession with fame.  Who can stay famous for long?  And who that is famous is not soon bored with his/her fame?  Who does not become annoyed by the unceasing attention?  Since fame is so fickle, who can nail down fame for any length of time?  It is a chasing over the wind…  Who is on the front pages of a magazine like People that was there five years ago, and who will still be there five years hence?  Nobody.


Consider Society’s telling you that you must be rich to be happy?  Where did this cartoonish notion come from?  I still cannot get it.  Hard statistics show that once beyond the poverty level, there are diminishing returns for happiness when it relates to money.  A person making 40,000 dollars a year is JUST AS HAPPY as someone making 400 Million dollars a year.  So why chase after something that is proven to NOT bring lasting happiness, equanimity, and peace?


Consider Society’s total obsession with youth.  If you continue to pursue this ghost, ask yourself, who stays young for long?  Your youth is but the smallest segment of your life.  Be practical.  If you attach yourself to your “youthful” face, can you lean on it after you turn 25?  If you have the right genes you may stay looking “young” until maybe 35…and maybe stretching it the age of 40 (if you have enough makeup and doctors).  But does your life stop at that age?  What will your happiness level go when you stock up all your hopes on staying young after you turn 45?  Then 50?  Then 55?  Then 60???  Then 65????  And so on.  Will you choose this path to inevitable suffering?  It is like praying that a large block of ice will stop melting when the sun beats down on it on a 100 degree F summer day.


Consider Society’s obsessions with possessions.  Who can have enough to satiate their greed for possessions?  There is no end.  Can equanimity (evenness and peace of mind) be attained if you have a collection of fancy cars or fancy jewelry?  Can you sleep completely in comfort knowing you have a safe full of “precious” jewelry by your bedside?  Will you not worry if you park your fancy car in the parking lot or when you give your keys to the valet?  Won’t every SINGLE ONE of your possessions rust and corrode with time?  If you live in a fancy house, and the wood starts warping, if you put your faith in your house/possession, won’t you become unsettled?


Consider Society’s obsession with Power.  Power is the transfer of Energy and Work over Time.  What king or country has stayed in power for long?  Every single Empire has fallen.  Just like every man’s power dwindles or is cut off either abruptly or slowly…like a rotting egg or rusting chain.  Putting your faith and hope in Power that is everlasting is another trick that Society tricks you into thinking that it will grant you Everlasting Happiness.


About youngkim3000

I grew up in Virginia and went to a top tier high school, being so ambitious and wanting fame and fortune like the next kid. I received good grades and then I went off to the University of Chicago where I majored in Psychology and Economics. After a brief but successful "Wall Street" career, I realized that I was not happy and left thinking that a career in the medical field would satisfy me. Then, I did some post Bac work at Northwestern and UIC, and then ended up at UIC Medical School. The problem was I was not happy there either. The structure, the repetition, and lack of being able to be free and spontaneously creative really knocked me down. Having to be subject to constant subjective evaluations sucked my soul dry. As I sought another chapter in my life, then came the financial collapse of 2008-9 which destroyed the "nest egg" and saving that I had worked so hard to build after college--which I so "identified with". I was so depressed at the loss of career and the loss of money that I fell into self pity and a deep seated depression. For weeks on end, I could not even get out of bed. I went to many doctors who could not really help me. I took so much anti-depressant medication and also self medicated with alcohol to dull my mind. One day though, I went to the public library in Niles, IL, and picked up some books on "Self-Help". I figured what do I have to lose? I was already so depressed I could barely get through a day. I picked up books by Wayne Dyer (Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life), Deepak Chopra, Louis Hay, Ram Dass, Osho, and Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth), The Dalai Lama, and revisited my faith in Catholicism. I devoured so many books to unearth just why I was suffering so much. I learned so much about myself and realized that my deep suffering was actually a gift for me to discover myself. Simply put, those words in those books saved my life. I was taking so many drugs and my physical health was in serious jeopardy. I realized that I could not live with myself any longer, and I needed to be free. I realized...that it was my own thoughts that were making me so depressed, as was my own "life story" that I replayed over and over. I realized that my mind was busy creating negative thoughts. Thoughts are "things" and expand. I understood that you do not "normally" choose your thoughts. Just like the digestion of a meal, the mind automatically creates all kinds of thoughts whether you like it or not. Just like you do not "choose" to breathe with your lungs or "choose" to make urine from your kidneys, you "normally" do not "choose" your own thoughts. They just happen, just like digestion. And if you had a bad experience, your mind recreates the negative thoughts without your conscious consent but you are forced to relive them endless times per day. It is only through CONSCIOUS INTERVENTION that you can make your mind change course from recycling negative thoughts. This is just like your breathing. You breathe automatically, but you CAN choose to influence your breathing, you can hold your breath if you are going to dive deep in the water, or you can consciously "slow down" your breath if you are relaxing in meditation and prayer. Once I realized I did in fact have an ability to control my thoughts, I consciously redirected the thoughts to positive uplifting notions. I noted that I had built such a large ego that the collapse of it dragged me down in catastrophic fashion. A big ego is different from self esteem. Both were destroyed, but I learned to regain self esteem through positive affirmations and knowing that the negative thoughts are not reality. I was choosing definitively to live in the past via my repetitive thoughts. I was also choosing to live in an uncertain future that I painted with dreadful possibilities. I realized that if I live in the "now", the present moment, I really did not have any reason to be depressed at all. I discovered I really only live in the "now". The past and future are fictions. It is akin to a motorboat on the water on a lake. The "wake" that the boat produces is the past, my vision of the future is what I can see in front of me, but I really only exist ON the boat in the present moment. I was living my life only on the "wake" created many meters before. Soon, my self-pity slowly subsided as I learned to accept "what is" and not grasp for anything and everything that is valued by Society. I concurred that it was my own "expectations" not realized that were causing such waves of discontent. Once I dropped my self imposed sad "life story", my yesterdays, I came to my senses that there was no need to feel upset at all. That realization hit me like "a ton of bricks" and quickly lifted me out of the well, like a rope thrown down the dark walls of the deep well. I would like to share that it was only that single moment of enlightenment, a "satori" event that forever changed my life, but that was not so. It was a gradual climb out of the abyss (over about a year). I realized that my mind was like a superhighway of blazing thoughts that went through my mind over and over based on the recent past. While my "life story" was going great, I believed in those thoughts, and my ego grew such that I became arrogant and sometimes unkind. Then when my "life story" changed for the worse, I similarly believed in those new negative thoughts with the same passion (which hurt me so deeply throughout my waking hours). I noted to myself that this was why I craved so many "tranquilizers" and medicines that would halt my thoughts. I realized that I was drowning in my negative thoughts and that I was CHOOSING to believe in them. But I learned through focusing on positive affirmations, meditation and prayer, I did not need any more drugs to "halt" my mind from stabbing me to death. Through the filter of society's measure I had evaluated my own life, unable to fully realize that it was all a fiction that my mind had created. I was completely unable to live in the present before this profound awakening. My life had turned into a constant "replay" of the past, the anxiety of the uncertain future...and my destroyed ego. Because of my belief that my thoughts were the ultimate truth, I suffered so deeply... but needlessly. Once I changed the direction of my thoughts, everything changed. The way I looked at my own life changed. I realized that LIFE is not a long emergency where the one with the most toys at the end wins. I realized LIFE is something to be lived fully, and joyfully...not some series of problems to be solved. Once I realized these insights, I realized that I was the creation of my own depression. Although a devout Catholic, I am also deeply moved by the ideals of Buddhism. About Karma and "Dependent Arising"...both of which are also in the Bible (Galations 6, Do not be deceived, God will not be mocked, a person always reaps what they sow). And I was...for the better part of my life, a runaway train into disaster that I was blind to...that I had planted the seeds onto. Putting money, fame, accolades, trophies, and so forth as the ultimate end to my goals sowed the seeds of psychological calamity when the inevitable tides of change occurs in every life. A person who extols those superficial qualities dooms himself/herself to disaster. The only variable is "time". Would it take a long time to find yourself in a train wreck or a short time? It doesn't matter. What matters is how soon can you realize the truth of existence and your place in it...and rise above what Society tries to focus you to believe. Society always makes you compare yourself to others, Society never leaves you alone to just be yourself. You have to exert effort and unlearn what Society has poisoned you with. I am now doing various "work" (not holding down any soul sucking corporate job), teaching, making money through various income sources like buying items at rummage sales and reselling them through Craigslist, asking neighbors and doing work they need, trading stock options when my financial tools indicate that there is a good trade. I am not focused on any "ladder to climb" or any "prestigious career"...and I am so much happier and at peace. I'd rather be "waterboarded" that go back to Corporate America. I have also a solid equanimity, and i am OK with whatever happens, and thus accept what God and the Universe wish for me. I wish to share my newly found wisdom and hope that my story and my interpretation of my newly found contentment can benefit others and I also wish to hear similar stories of awakening. God Bless, thanks for reading my "profile" and leave me your stories of awakening. Outside somewhere is a field where all of us are the same, I cannot wait to see you there...Namaste...
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