Chapter 194 I Forget to Mention Last Week’s Headline about Jersey Shore’s Mike Sorrentino, aka “The Situation”. Please Forgive Me about Mentioning Jersey Shore again…

I know this is a blog/book about equanimity and peace, but I feel somehow that to really find such enlightenment is to examine just WHY it is so hard to find inner peace.  I am concluding that much of the process is to avoid exposing our souls to the excrement around us (mainly coming from the main stream media).  It is far easier to find peace and equanimity after physically scaling the side of a mountain with friends in the Rockies (and viewing the sunrise), than watching some reality show spectacle on a weekend night alone with a bucket of greasy fatty fried chicken.

This is due to the fact that we are all individuals living in a larger society which sends signals via images and content into our brains/minds.  Like a flower, we need to expose ourselves to sunshine and clear water, not expose ourselves to darkness and dust.  I feel that deep down, even those I passionately poke fun of are real people and are spiritual beings filled with love and kindness.  But they are in my opinion misguided.  What makes it so sad is that many of the people I mention are still so lost and insane.  I am not saying I have all the answers and that I am perfect…far from it.  But because of some recent life experiences, I at least have some positive ideas in the direction people should aim at.  And part of the discovery and solution is to AVOID “negative energy” and soul sucking “entertainment”.

I contended before that society in general influences our lives in many negative ways. And society as a whole does not do anything to reign in such trash that they fill our lives with via the Internet and television.  This starts in our childhood with advertising which makes the young girls insecure (if they are not tall and pretty) and the young boys feel weakness (if they cannot dunk a basketball or hit a flyball).  Whenever I feel down, it is because I spent an hour amusing myself at the insanity all around me that the mainstream media spews out like water from a fire hose.

And a perfect example I mentioned earlier is the MTV show, “Jersey Shore”.  It is just a perfect example of what is wrong with a big part of society…how society chooses to entertain a segment of our population.  All the reality TV shows, I hear, like “Real Housewives of (some large American city)” are in the same trash can of Reality TV which currently dominates our television channels.  I would rather gouge out my eyes before watching such filth.

On my word, I have never watched any of these shows and do not even own a television.  The last time I saw television and enjoyed a show was a comedy called “Seinfeld” back in the 1990s.  Other than public television (PBS), television has slowly turned into the toilet.   Take for instance, the topic at hand, the TV show “Jersey Shore” and one of its characters…Mike Sorrentino aka “The Situation”.  (I’ve never watched the show, just read about it via various sources.)  First off, who really mentions themselves in the third person with such a moniker??  That in itself is just unreal.

Here is what a couple of my favorite comedians said about the characters:

Q: Why doesn’t Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino eat bananas? A: He said he can’t find the zipper!

Q: Most people think “Jersey Shore” is just orange people binge drinking and exposing themselves — and for the most part, it is. -Jimmy Kimmel

Q: “The plan is to contain the oil slick with fire-retardant beams, and then set fire to the oil that pools on the surface. They say if it works there in the Gulf, they’re going to try it on the cast of Jersey Shore.” -Bill Maher

Moving on about the sewer filled manure that is “Jersey Shore”, the blogspots were filled with opinions in Season 1 the guy called, “The Situation” had a huge alcohol and cocaine problem.  I read that in the season they filmed in Miami, there is footage of him from the show doing a ‘bump’ off some girl’s arm.  I personally have never ever watched the show and would rather be “waterboarded” than to endure one episode of this.  Before my experiences with equanimity and peace, perhaps I may have been interested.  But I left that part of me far behind.

MTV is filming him knowing all this with his grandiose attempt to be the most successful alcoholic on Earth?  MTV should be forced to cancel “Jersey Shore” if they are buying alcohol for the house and encouraging substance abuse. They should all be investigated by the appropriate authorities and charged.  What sort of aspirations does someone like Mike Sorrentino have? When the show is over, will he be like 50 yrs old and still going to clubs to make money? Once Reality TV has chewed him up and spit him out what is left?  Lets see where he is in 10 years…

He recently left the show temporarily I heard because he said he had a problem with “exhaustion”.  I was in the medical field, and that is NOT a diagnosis…  It is called drug and alcohol abuse.   I am also so sick and tired of these so called “stars” (with no talent) trying to claim exhaustion for all their addiction problems (hint: like Lindsay Lohan recently during her movie shoot about Elizabeth Taylor). They apparently have no clue that they sound like utter “douchebags” who think the public is so stupid. No, we aren’t stupid…its quite obvious that they are though for not having integrity of admitting they have an alcohol and drug abuse problem. Goodness…and this guy thinks he is anything special because he knows how to get drunk and then blow his money on cars and dope?  Nope, just another lost loser who got caught up in the dying flame of Reality TV. Let’s move on to another loser shall we?   But to be honest, I truly deeply feel sorry for him and pray he gets well.  It will be painful, but I hope his soul recovers.

Many say that his chronic alcohol/cocaine use is not a contributing factor to his overall illness. That is plain wrong.  It is the single most major contributing factor…


About youngkim3000

I grew up in Virginia and went to a top tier high school, being so ambitious and wanting fame and fortune like the next kid. I received good grades and then I went off to the University of Chicago where I majored in Psychology and Economics. After a brief but successful "Wall Street" career, I realized that I was not happy and left thinking that a career in the medical field would satisfy me. Then, I did some post Bac work at Northwestern and UIC, and then ended up at UIC Medical School. The problem was I was not happy there either. The structure, the repetition, and lack of being able to be free and spontaneously creative really knocked me down. Having to be subject to constant subjective evaluations sucked my soul dry. As I sought another chapter in my life, then came the financial collapse of 2008-9 which destroyed the "nest egg" and saving that I had worked so hard to build after college--which I so "identified with". I was so depressed at the loss of career and the loss of money that I fell into self pity and a deep seated depression. For weeks on end, I could not even get out of bed. I went to many doctors who could not really help me. I took so much anti-depressant medication and also self medicated with alcohol to dull my mind. One day though, I went to the public library in Niles, IL, and picked up some books on "Self-Help". I figured what do I have to lose? I was already so depressed I could barely get through a day. I picked up books by Wayne Dyer (Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life), Deepak Chopra, Louis Hay, Ram Dass, Osho, and Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth), The Dalai Lama, and revisited my faith in Catholicism. I devoured so many books to unearth just why I was suffering so much. I learned so much about myself and realized that my deep suffering was actually a gift for me to discover myself. Simply put, those words in those books saved my life. I was taking so many drugs and my physical health was in serious jeopardy. I realized that I could not live with myself any longer, and I needed to be free. I realized...that it was my own thoughts that were making me so depressed, as was my own "life story" that I replayed over and over. I realized that my mind was busy creating negative thoughts. Thoughts are "things" and expand. I understood that you do not "normally" choose your thoughts. Just like the digestion of a meal, the mind automatically creates all kinds of thoughts whether you like it or not. Just like you do not "choose" to breathe with your lungs or "choose" to make urine from your kidneys, you "normally" do not "choose" your own thoughts. They just happen, just like digestion. And if you had a bad experience, your mind recreates the negative thoughts without your conscious consent but you are forced to relive them endless times per day. It is only through CONSCIOUS INTERVENTION that you can make your mind change course from recycling negative thoughts. This is just like your breathing. You breathe automatically, but you CAN choose to influence your breathing, you can hold your breath if you are going to dive deep in the water, or you can consciously "slow down" your breath if you are relaxing in meditation and prayer. Once I realized I did in fact have an ability to control my thoughts, I consciously redirected the thoughts to positive uplifting notions. I noted that I had built such a large ego that the collapse of it dragged me down in catastrophic fashion. A big ego is different from self esteem. Both were destroyed, but I learned to regain self esteem through positive affirmations and knowing that the negative thoughts are not reality. I was choosing definitively to live in the past via my repetitive thoughts. I was also choosing to live in an uncertain future that I painted with dreadful possibilities. I realized that if I live in the "now", the present moment, I really did not have any reason to be depressed at all. I discovered I really only live in the "now". The past and future are fictions. It is akin to a motorboat on the water on a lake. The "wake" that the boat produces is the past, my vision of the future is what I can see in front of me, but I really only exist ON the boat in the present moment. I was living my life only on the "wake" created many meters before. Soon, my self-pity slowly subsided as I learned to accept "what is" and not grasp for anything and everything that is valued by Society. I concurred that it was my own "expectations" not realized that were causing such waves of discontent. Once I dropped my self imposed sad "life story", my yesterdays, I came to my senses that there was no need to feel upset at all. That realization hit me like "a ton of bricks" and quickly lifted me out of the well, like a rope thrown down the dark walls of the deep well. I would like to share that it was only that single moment of enlightenment, a "satori" event that forever changed my life, but that was not so. It was a gradual climb out of the abyss (over about a year). I realized that my mind was like a superhighway of blazing thoughts that went through my mind over and over based on the recent past. While my "life story" was going great, I believed in those thoughts, and my ego grew such that I became arrogant and sometimes unkind. Then when my "life story" changed for the worse, I similarly believed in those new negative thoughts with the same passion (which hurt me so deeply throughout my waking hours). I noted to myself that this was why I craved so many "tranquilizers" and medicines that would halt my thoughts. I realized that I was drowning in my negative thoughts and that I was CHOOSING to believe in them. But I learned through focusing on positive affirmations, meditation and prayer, I did not need any more drugs to "halt" my mind from stabbing me to death. Through the filter of society's measure I had evaluated my own life, unable to fully realize that it was all a fiction that my mind had created. I was completely unable to live in the present before this profound awakening. My life had turned into a constant "replay" of the past, the anxiety of the uncertain future...and my destroyed ego. Because of my belief that my thoughts were the ultimate truth, I suffered so deeply... but needlessly. Once I changed the direction of my thoughts, everything changed. The way I looked at my own life changed. I realized that LIFE is not a long emergency where the one with the most toys at the end wins. I realized LIFE is something to be lived fully, and joyfully...not some series of problems to be solved. Once I realized these insights, I realized that I was the creation of my own depression. Although a devout Catholic, I am also deeply moved by the ideals of Buddhism. About Karma and "Dependent Arising"...both of which are also in the Bible (Galations 6, Do not be deceived, God will not be mocked, a person always reaps what they sow). And I was...for the better part of my life, a runaway train into disaster that I was blind to...that I had planted the seeds onto. Putting money, fame, accolades, trophies, and so forth as the ultimate end to my goals sowed the seeds of psychological calamity when the inevitable tides of change occurs in every life. A person who extols those superficial qualities dooms himself/herself to disaster. The only variable is "time". Would it take a long time to find yourself in a train wreck or a short time? It doesn't matter. What matters is how soon can you realize the truth of existence and your place in it...and rise above what Society tries to focus you to believe. Society always makes you compare yourself to others, Society never leaves you alone to just be yourself. You have to exert effort and unlearn what Society has poisoned you with. I am now doing various "work" (not holding down any soul sucking corporate job), teaching, making money through various income sources like buying items at rummage sales and reselling them through Craigslist, asking neighbors and doing work they need, trading stock options when my financial tools indicate that there is a good trade. I am not focused on any "ladder to climb" or any "prestigious career"...and I am so much happier and at peace. I'd rather be "waterboarded" that go back to Corporate America. I have also a solid equanimity, and i am OK with whatever happens, and thus accept what God and the Universe wish for me. I wish to share my newly found wisdom and hope that my story and my interpretation of my newly found contentment can benefit others and I also wish to hear similar stories of awakening. God Bless, thanks for reading my "profile" and leave me your stories of awakening. Outside somewhere is a field where all of us are the same, I cannot wait to see you there...Namaste...
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