Again, look back to your childhood, if you were criticized as a young child, you likely felt bad for a second, then you forgot about it. But as adults, since we have built up our egos, we shudder at the first sight of negative feedback. Our sense of self worth has been assaulted, and like salt rubbed into a wound, we let the negativism take hold and ruin our day. Then, once again, we’ll probably ruin someone else’s day right along with it.
If you finish a project at work, and a co-worker or your boss ridicules it or finds many faults with it, just perceive it as one person having a different vantage point to look upon you and your work. Your work is not necessarily bad in the way it really is. The other person simply is looking at it from his or her own vantage point. What is the need to fight back against it? You likely will not change their mind, just you may irritate them further.
If you insist on violently defending yourself, you will likely find the other person escalating his or his criticism of your work. Just “let it slide”, do your best work, and accept any criticism as a positive. This can apply to any part of life. If your friend sees you drink and calls you an alcoholic, then don’t jump down his throat. He may be saying that for many reasons, maybe he has genuine concern for your health. But rather he may be relating that to his or her own drinking habits and are projecting. If they feel tipsy or drunk off one or two beers, and you can wash down a six pack, then the sheer difference in tolerance may make your friend “think” you have an alcohol problem when you really may not have one.
Especially if you are only a social drinker on weekends and it never interferes with your home and work life, you are probably OK. But if you vigorously defend yourself, then you will only feed your friend’s insistence that you are indeed an alcoholic. Why not just agree with him that maybe you do in fact drink too much, and leave it at that?
By doing so, you accomplish two things. Your friend will promptly forget what he said to you, and you will have kept your cool. There will be no argument to escalate, no disagreement that shakes your poise and feelings of equanimity. You will have kept your center. So, whenever you are faced with negative comments or critiques about your work or yourself, just brush them aside as that which is coming from someone else’s viewpoint. For instance, take for example a mountain which you intend to climb with a friend. If you are used to climbing tall peaks by yourself, then you may view the mountain as a small one. But if your friend who is climbing with you has never climbed before, he may complain to you as to why you picked such a tall peak to climb. He may question your judgment. But as you can see, there is no absolute “right” viewpoint. Just two ways of seeing the same situation as evaluated by two people with differing backgrounds and point of view.