“He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past.” Henry David Thoreau
Now that we have established that your misery is mostly your own creation, don’t dwell over your own Encyclopedia of Past Misery that you have accumulated since your childhood. Nobody really wants to hear it, and your own soul does not want to hear about it either. Others have their own baggage to carry. In fact, you usually have to pay someone a lot of money just to sit there and listen to your problems.
Typically, you pay a psychiatrist or psychologist to sit there for an hour to write down and note careful notes on all your problems and try to find solutions. But you will find that carrying your “pain-baggage” is a non-ending task. Every week new problems emerge, and if your process of thinking is non-awakened and you practice the blame game and engage in endless self pity, you will find yourself in bi-weekly sessions with your psychologist.
Even the psychologist eventually gets weighed down by your problems. Is it any wonder that psychologists and psychiatrists have one of the highest rates of depression and suicide? How could it be fun to sit and hear about all of the peoples stories of misery and suffering all day long?
Endeavor then to create space around your problems by meditation and by emptying your thoughts. They are just thoughts, nothing more. You are creating the reality and escalating your own mind storms. Train your mind to build up “bumpers” around your mind. If someone or something or some event collides with you, you are undamaged.
In fact, live your life just exactly like you are watching a movie about yourself. That way you are an impartial observer. You watch movies about horror, tragedy, comedies, drama, thrillers, and much of your life is a mundane documentary. Before, During, and After the movie, you know without a doubt that it is all imaginary, and you are not really attached to the characters because you know you are just seeing actors in a made up setting.
Why not apply the same to your life? When you are watching a movie, are you taking anything personally? No, after the sad tragedy is a sad story is over, meaning, when the movie is over, you just let it go, walk out of the theater, and go on with your life. You likely forget about the movie and if someone asks you about it, you cannot barely even remember how the movie ends. This is typical, because you are not taking anything personally.