Again, don’t use darkness to fight darkness. Use light. Try to expand your positive thoughts and expand your consciousness (like knowing you are one with others, and not a separate being in combat with them). As a medical analogy, say the patient is overweight and thus has so many problems (diabetes, back problems, heart problems). Make the patient healthy by addressing the core situation—his overweight status, not his problem list, which can go on forever.
Know YOU are the creator of your problems, which should give you a feeling of control over them. If you say to yourself, that your problems will change once the other party in your life changes, you will be waiting forever, AND giving control over the solution to your problem to someone else.
Everyone in modern society is trained from youth to seek attention. And because all of American life is centered on competition and ambition, there is so much complaining and whining and suffering. A prime reason for this all is the high expectations that Americans have for themselves.
Every child figures out that if he is sick, he gets a lot of attention. If he is healthy and happy, he gets NO attention. So he carried this newfound non-wisdom into adulthood. A medical doctor is sort of a professional attention giver. For the entire half hour visit he looks and examines you and writes all sorts of nonsense.
Consider that when you were a small child, you had problems. But you never dwelled on them because the “pain body” has not had a chance to develop into a full blown disease. But recognize that as an adult many of these problems disappeared. What happened? Those problems were never solved. Rather, you “grew out of them”, sort of like a sweater that became too tight and thus you outgrew them and got new clothing. The old small sweater, the metaphor for your childhood problems, you just took them off.
I will repeat, you cannot solve the problems by thinking, you simply in time grow out of them with the right mindfulness. If you feel yourself having a problem, don’t consider it an emergency to get out of it. Just take a deep breath, and sigh, and engage in any other activity that will divert your thinking.
Now when you finally reach old age, you will laugh at all the trouble you thought you used to have. The problems seemed so urgent, so destructive that you pondered suicide. But now you can laugh at the problems. Where did the problems go? They are not hard physical objects. Did you solve even a single one of them? No, you having mastered consciousness and being an impartial observer, simply grew out of them like an old pair of shoes.
Meditation and prayer is not about solving problems. It is about personal growth. Develop your character towards awareness and equanimity. In every way, your character IS your fate, bar none. You are a human BEING, not a human DOING. Just be. Just be here now. Beings are eternal. Doings are transitory.
Just remember that the reason society poisons the individual and makes it so difficult to be happy is that the society is only concerned with itself, not the individual. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. I believe in Germany, they use the word “Gestalt”. So if you have to be ground to the bone working 3 jobs to make ends meet, society doesn’t care, as long as the roads are paved, and as long as you are paying taxes.