In a way, your suffering can be helping insofar as it instructs you and teaches you just where your suffering is coming from. If you are suffering from your fears of the lack of money, then you know your problem is one of greed and fear of material objects. So you know you need to work on that. If you are afraid of the public’s eye when making a speech, that may lead to your feelings of insecurities
To solve the problems of the mind (especially when it is in a negative spiral), you must in a way transcend the mind. You cannot fight fire with fire and use the mind to figure out why you are unhappy and shake yourself out of your foul mood. You must instead fight the fire with water. You have the fight the negative thoughts with thoughts of sunshine. Thinking through the problem often just makes the problem worse and makes you hit the “repeat” button. You cannot solve the problem by the “thinking” of it. If you ask yourself into a negative train of thought, you may be saying to yourself, “Why did I do that? How could I have been so stupid? Why did the other person overreact? My response was without anxiety, how come the other party freaked out?” and so forth. It is an endless circle. But instead, if you shed light to the situation and say to yourself, oh, the other person may have been having a rough day, or other positive musings, then the pain will be redirected and avoided.
If you can view the problems you are facing as a faraway witness, you have solved the problem halfway already, because now you are not involved personally in it. The clarity which comes form “witnessing” the problem as opposed to “thinking and involving yourself” about the problem is the key.
Prayer and meditation, including activities like Tai Chi, yoga, and pilates, creates a distance to the problem, as does soft music and a good night’s sleep. It gives you perspective, and you go higher and higher. You can eventually look down below at your problems as if they are in a valley and you are sitting at the top of the mountain.
From that high of a distance, all the problems you think you had look and appear different. And the greater the time and distance grows, the more you are able to observe them as if the problems no longer belong to you as a possession.
Recall this point, if a certain problem does not belong to you, you always seems to be able to give good advice. If someone else is in difficulty like in a bad relationship, you find yourself giving good advice. This is because you are viewing the problem at a distance. The problem does not belong to you. But if the certain problem like a bad relationship belongs to you, you often simply don’t know what to do and you are not wearing your “wisdom” hat. That is why when you are personally involved you give yourself bad advice.
The wisdom is lost because the distance is lost. The distance can be created by prayer, meditation music, and the like. The answer is simpler than what modern society says about the problem. Psychologists often have you do the opposite of what you should be doing. They ask you all these questions to re-live the problem in your head, when instead you should be focusing on transcending the problem. They want to defeat the darkness WITH darkness, which never works so that is why you end up going to see the doctor over and over again without end.
Such famous psychologists like Freud, Nietzche, Reich, Hume all could not transcend the problems. Freud even committed suicide. They focused on the mind and THINKING of the problems, which never worked and will never work. The theme here is to grow in consciousness and awareness in the way out of your nervousness and misery.