Throughout the day, actively gauge your moods. If you find yourself
in a foul mood, see if the reason is due to someone close to you. If the
relationship is toxic, leave the situation immediately. The closer you become
with toxic individuals, the higher likelihood that you will become depressed
yourself. The reason is that negative energy will be emitted and you will
experience this unconsciously or consciously. Know this, it is completely
futile to try to change others. Everyone is unique, so the other person cannot
possibly see anything or any situation in the way you personally see it. Trying to change somebody is another exercise in suffering.
Again, I cannot stress this point enough. You cannot change
others, the other person cannot see anything the way you see things. You can spend the rest of your life trying to prove that your version of life is right. The separate realities of life are a fact of life and is really in itself a beautiful thing. But you must take note of this so that you are not a victim to its differences. Trying to change another person’s point of view is just impossible. The more you try to change another person’s opinion of things, the more they will resist, and the more that you will suffer.
If you feel frustration, you have definitely imposed such a belief system onto yourself, and such thought systems do not like to be tampered with. No matter how certain you are of your position, someone else close to you will see it differently and will be equally certain of their conclusion. Why fight them? It is completely pointless and will only turn them against yourself. And by this type of fighting, you are actually just fighting a fight with yourself.
There are many such systems of thought, and you must be aware of them and maneuver around them to get through most days—all which contain a certain degree of difficulty. When you start to feel discontented, you need to reset your brain into neutral however you can. If you are in a low depressed mood, understand this law that you will REACT to negative stimuli or a negative situation with more negativity 100% of the time. If you are in a foul mood, due to say having an argument with your significant other, you will react to any following moments (which can be neutral) with the same amount of discontent and anger.
Healthy functioning happens when you are thinking in an uncluttered way. Simple thinking, like a child. A quote by Albert Einstein says, “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” And Henry David Thoreau concurred that “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail.”
If you fill your mind with clutter, the higher the likelihood that a negative experience will enter your mind. A nice analogy is in tennis, where you always return to the center in between shots on the courts. If you stay at one corner of the court, you are doomed because then your opponent can hit the ball to where you are not because you didn’t stay centered.
This is not to say you will not be saddened by events. They are inevitable. Even the Buddha was saddened when he saw his country under attack by foreigners. However, if you stay centered, your understanding of the events will change, allowing yourself to experience the event from a detached and more neutral viewpoint. Happy feelings come from a quiet mind, and unhappy feelings come from an unquiet mind, so be busy to empty your negative thoughts. Consider how hard it is to be angry when you first awaken in the morning.
When you first awaken, you are never in any rage or envious mood, have vengeful thoughts, or regretful moods because your mind has not been consciously focused on negative thoughts during your sleep. Of course, in a moment if you are not centered you may begin to feel anxious at facing the morning traffic and such, but at the moment of your awakening from sleep, it is really hard to be unsettled. It is your mind’s traveling back and forth in time that unsteadies your mind, like a boat that was silently floating on a lake that is suddenly swayed by a passing wave. Your brain has rested, and the superhighway of thoughts has not consumed you yet.