Chapter 51 Joy and Happiness are a Natural Phenomena

Real joy and happiness is totally natural.  You are born with it and bring it into the world.  Every small child brings this joy into the world, but then Society grabs the child and shakes all the joy out of him or her.  They start programming the child, they start conditioning the child for unhappiness.  The monster of Society is basically very neurotic, and it really does not want happy people in it.  It rather wants obedient people.  As I wrote before, they basically want slaves.  If a person is happy AND obedient, then Society I suppose won’t complain too much, but if you are happy but not too obedient, then society will be very upset and angry with you. 


Mostly, Society is afraid of happy people because to a large degree, happy people are not too obedient.  Being truly happy is to be free.  But society really doesn’t care if you are happy or not.  All it basically wants is for you to obey its rules and work really really hard and burn yourself down to the ground doing so.  After your useful life is gone, Society merely tosses you away and ignores you.  Society wants you o pay a lot of taxes…  Society is not entirely evil though intentionally.  When you are really old, it will make sure you don’t starve to death and it will give you basic health care.  But will it really honor you?  No, not really.  In modern society, the old is equated with uselessness.  Our modern society:  Old = Useless.  


What IS prized in our modern society is the young, the fit, the strong, the productive, the good looking, the unbridled ambitious (older folks know better and are more prudent), and the ones who sacrifice themselves to feed Society’s machine.  Everyone else is labeled as old, handicapped, or just plain stupid…thus worthless.  Don’t be misled.  Look at our magazine covers, the ordinary are never praised.  All you see are young models, actresses, celebrities like Prince Harry and Prince William, reality starts like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who can continuously push up the GDP of this country by the sale of more magazines and ad-space.


Because everyone in our society is so greedy, everyone is so afraid of being overpowered by other people.  So another neurosis begins where people become obsessed with power.  They are so afraid of becoming powerless that all they can think of is becoming more powerful, and to show that power over other people.  The modern western society way of acting is to attack first.  They say the best defense is a good offense.  So all the so called powerful people in this world are deep down really insecure people, so deathly afraid that if they don’t succeed in being “better” than others someone else is going to dominate them.  So their thinking is, “Why not better another first instead of possibly being bettered myself?”  Citizens always cry out, “I don’t want to be left behind!”


Once a people really reach a state of enlightenment, they will not easily become attached to any political party or extreme movement.  It is only the ones who are so insecure of themselves that cry out for some attachment to something outside themselves.  A truly happy person will radiate joy and love and being a beacon for others to feel the same and seek freedom. 


A truly strange phenomenon is how often parents like to say “No!” to their children.  I have observed this so many times through my own life.  Parents are constantly telling their children “No!” “No!” “No!” and making the children feel guilty about everything and anything.  Soon the child is conditioned to think that anything he or she feels happy or joyful about must be wrong.  Invariably he starts to feel that to be miserable and unhappy is the right way to be, and to be happy is the wrong door to enter.


This association will haunt him for the rest of his or her life.  For instance, if he takes a toy and takes it apart, his parents may tell him, “No!” “That is wrong!” “What a terrible thing you have done!” and more and more ridiculous assertions.  His curiosity has been squashed, and he was made to feel guilty because of his natural curiosity.  He, at such an early age, will stop inquiring.  He will stop searching for truth.


So the nightmare continues into his adulthood.  When the child is not hungry and if he refuses to eat, his or her mother tells him, “No!” “It is time to eat”.  Even if the child is not hungry, he or she is forced to stuff food into their mouths, gagging down on food he or she has no desire to eat.  When the child is a bit tired in the morning, he or she is yelled at to “Get up now!” and so his dreams are interrupted and he thus drags himself out of bed. 


At night, at times, he is wide awake and wants to enjoy looking at the beautiful night sky.  But his mother yells at him, “No!”  “You must go to sleep NOW!” and so the child is terrorized.  But how can sleep be thus forced?  In this process, the mother is listening to society and slowly destroying any possibility the child has for long lasting happiness.  What he delights in, he is usually told how wrong it is to move astray from society’s teachings. 


The things that the child feels that makes him spontaneously happy is told is wrong, and the things that make him feel bored with is labeled as “right”.  If a child delights in seeing a bluejay outside the classroom singing, and he pays more attention to it than the English teacher who has “power” over him, he is told he is a terrible child and should be disciplined.  The bluejay has no power.  But at least the bluejay possesses such extraordinary beauty.  So the consciousness of the child moves to the bluejay, but the teacher wields the power of sending the child to the principal, so the child looks back to the teacher.  But there is something wrong now.  Now he is just pretending.  He is playing a game of pretend so his parents will not be called. 


The child is taught that spontaneous joy is wrong, is sinful.  When a child discovers his or her own body, he or she is told how immoral they are of touching themselves.  This makes society so neurotic, but then all of society is so neurotic.  The exact same thing was done to those parents who are now horribly oppressing their own offspring.  So each generation spreads their own brand of venom to the next generation. 


But an odd thing through happens when people start really praying and meditating well.  They begin to actually feel happy and relieved, but somehow guilty.  They have been programmed by society to experience guilt whenever they feel too happy.  If they are not feeling guilty about something, then their conscience must not be active enough.  If they are feeling guilty, then it was a proper reaction.  If a person feels miserable, death seems to promise liberation.  And misery allows people to feel rage, anger, and allows them to kill at society’s will. 


Unless you become enlightened in this lifetime, you are doomed to be a slave to society’s hypnosis.  You have to realize why it exists in the first place and how it came about.  After this, you are able to escape it.  If you cannot escape society, you will never achieve bliss and joy in this life, you will never sing the songs you were born to sing.  You will die with the song still inside you.  As Henry David Thoreu wrote, “Most men live lives of quiet desperation, and die with the song still inside them.”  Basically you will die without ever having lived.  (A line from the movie Braveheart, “All men die, not all men really live.”)



About youngkim3000

I grew up in Virginia and went to a top tier high school, being so ambitious and wanting fame and fortune like the next kid. I received good grades and then I went off to the University of Chicago where I majored in Psychology and Economics. After a brief but successful "Wall Street" career, I realized that I was not happy and left thinking that a career in the medical field would satisfy me. Then, I did some post Bac work at Northwestern and UIC, and then ended up at UIC Medical School. The problem was I was not happy there either. The structure, the repetition, and lack of being able to be free and spontaneously creative really knocked me down. Having to be subject to constant subjective evaluations sucked my soul dry. As I sought another chapter in my life, then came the financial collapse of 2008-9 which destroyed the "nest egg" and saving that I had worked so hard to build after college--which I so "identified with". I was so depressed at the loss of career and the loss of money that I fell into self pity and a deep seated depression. For weeks on end, I could not even get out of bed. I went to many doctors who could not really help me. I took so much anti-depressant medication and also self medicated with alcohol to dull my mind. One day though, I went to the public library in Niles, IL, and picked up some books on "Self-Help". I figured what do I have to lose? I was already so depressed I could barely get through a day. I picked up books by Wayne Dyer (Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life), Deepak Chopra, Louis Hay, Ram Dass, Osho, and Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth), The Dalai Lama, and revisited my faith in Catholicism. I devoured so many books to unearth just why I was suffering so much. I learned so much about myself and realized that my deep suffering was actually a gift for me to discover myself. Simply put, those words in those books saved my life. I was taking so many drugs and my physical health was in serious jeopardy. I realized that I could not live with myself any longer, and I needed to be free. I realized...that it was my own thoughts that were making me so depressed, as was my own "life story" that I replayed over and over. I realized that my mind was busy creating negative thoughts. Thoughts are "things" and expand. I understood that you do not "normally" choose your thoughts. Just like the digestion of a meal, the mind automatically creates all kinds of thoughts whether you like it or not. Just like you do not "choose" to breathe with your lungs or "choose" to make urine from your kidneys, you "normally" do not "choose" your own thoughts. They just happen, just like digestion. And if you had a bad experience, your mind recreates the negative thoughts without your conscious consent but you are forced to relive them endless times per day. It is only through CONSCIOUS INTERVENTION that you can make your mind change course from recycling negative thoughts. This is just like your breathing. You breathe automatically, but you CAN choose to influence your breathing, you can hold your breath if you are going to dive deep in the water, or you can consciously "slow down" your breath if you are relaxing in meditation and prayer. Once I realized I did in fact have an ability to control my thoughts, I consciously redirected the thoughts to positive uplifting notions. I noted that I had built such a large ego that the collapse of it dragged me down in catastrophic fashion. A big ego is different from self esteem. Both were destroyed, but I learned to regain self esteem through positive affirmations and knowing that the negative thoughts are not reality. I was choosing definitively to live in the past via my repetitive thoughts. I was also choosing to live in an uncertain future that I painted with dreadful possibilities. I realized that if I live in the "now", the present moment, I really did not have any reason to be depressed at all. I discovered I really only live in the "now". The past and future are fictions. It is akin to a motorboat on the water on a lake. The "wake" that the boat produces is the past, my vision of the future is what I can see in front of me, but I really only exist ON the boat in the present moment. I was living my life only on the "wake" created many meters before. Soon, my self-pity slowly subsided as I learned to accept "what is" and not grasp for anything and everything that is valued by Society. I concurred that it was my own "expectations" not realized that were causing such waves of discontent. Once I dropped my self imposed sad "life story", my yesterdays, I came to my senses that there was no need to feel upset at all. That realization hit me like "a ton of bricks" and quickly lifted me out of the well, like a rope thrown down the dark walls of the deep well. I would like to share that it was only that single moment of enlightenment, a "satori" event that forever changed my life, but that was not so. It was a gradual climb out of the abyss (over about a year). I realized that my mind was like a superhighway of blazing thoughts that went through my mind over and over based on the recent past. While my "life story" was going great, I believed in those thoughts, and my ego grew such that I became arrogant and sometimes unkind. Then when my "life story" changed for the worse, I similarly believed in those new negative thoughts with the same passion (which hurt me so deeply throughout my waking hours). I noted to myself that this was why I craved so many "tranquilizers" and medicines that would halt my thoughts. I realized that I was drowning in my negative thoughts and that I was CHOOSING to believe in them. But I learned through focusing on positive affirmations, meditation and prayer, I did not need any more drugs to "halt" my mind from stabbing me to death. Through the filter of society's measure I had evaluated my own life, unable to fully realize that it was all a fiction that my mind had created. I was completely unable to live in the present before this profound awakening. My life had turned into a constant "replay" of the past, the anxiety of the uncertain future...and my destroyed ego. Because of my belief that my thoughts were the ultimate truth, I suffered so deeply... but needlessly. Once I changed the direction of my thoughts, everything changed. The way I looked at my own life changed. I realized that LIFE is not a long emergency where the one with the most toys at the end wins. I realized LIFE is something to be lived fully, and joyfully...not some series of problems to be solved. Once I realized these insights, I realized that I was the creation of my own depression. Although a devout Catholic, I am also deeply moved by the ideals of Buddhism. About Karma and "Dependent Arising"...both of which are also in the Bible (Galations 6, Do not be deceived, God will not be mocked, a person always reaps what they sow). And I was...for the better part of my life, a runaway train into disaster that I was blind to...that I had planted the seeds onto. Putting money, fame, accolades, trophies, and so forth as the ultimate end to my goals sowed the seeds of psychological calamity when the inevitable tides of change occurs in every life. A person who extols those superficial qualities dooms himself/herself to disaster. The only variable is "time". Would it take a long time to find yourself in a train wreck or a short time? It doesn't matter. What matters is how soon can you realize the truth of existence and your place in it...and rise above what Society tries to focus you to believe. Society always makes you compare yourself to others, Society never leaves you alone to just be yourself. You have to exert effort and unlearn what Society has poisoned you with. I am now doing various "work" (not holding down any soul sucking corporate job), teaching, making money through various income sources like buying items at rummage sales and reselling them through Craigslist, asking neighbors and doing work they need, trading stock options when my financial tools indicate that there is a good trade. I am not focused on any "ladder to climb" or any "prestigious career"...and I am so much happier and at peace. I'd rather be "waterboarded" that go back to Corporate America. I have also a solid equanimity, and i am OK with whatever happens, and thus accept what God and the Universe wish for me. I wish to share my newly found wisdom and hope that my story and my interpretation of my newly found contentment can benefit others and I also wish to hear similar stories of awakening. God Bless, thanks for reading my "profile" and leave me your stories of awakening. Outside somewhere is a field where all of us are the same, I cannot wait to see you there...Namaste...
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One Response to Chapter 51 Joy and Happiness are a Natural Phenomena

  1. Benji says:

    Thank you for being beautiful.

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