If you are living inside your own hell, you have to understand that it comes from your warped inner existence, your sense of self as Society has come to make you believe. As your sense of self grows, the resulting emotions of jealousy, pride, anger, lust, covetousness grow and grow. And those negative emotions are what will cause you to feel pain and suffering. You must understand that when your mind is exploding with ambition, competition, comparison, and hate, then your mind is broken and defective. This is not to say that you have no sense of self, you do. But that “self” has been developed through the persuasion of society molding you, and it comes from interactions with the mind and body with Society.
Using a term in Buddhism, called “dependent arising”, know that everything that happens is the result of a previous action. In physics, we say that all Forces exert a force on everything else. In other words, things are always interconnected. There is nothing independent in this world. So, your sense of self is not some independent entity. It is dependent on other things and your interactions with society.
The idea of “dependent arising” means that everything physical or mental comes from everything else. The happiness that the self desires and the sadness that the self wishes to get rid of are the net result of temporary and specific causes. One of the central tenets of Eastern philosophy is that “Everything changes”. Everything is always in a state of constant change and flux. Once you become more flexible in your thinking, and you realize that the sources of your sadness come from related causes that may be flawed in thought, they you will be able to better change yourself and your thinking inside to avoid the reflexive knee jerk reaction (because you realize that you have control over your own thoughts). If you remain rigid in your thoughts, then you are assured of suffering.