Joke time (about an egotist): When someone asks him to name the Seven Wonders of the World, he makes the list twice.
In the end, you are just going to have to be yourself. If you feel misery, then just accept it at first. Understand the true reasons behind your suffering (attachment to your ego), and then rejoice at the eventual gratitude when you finally drop it. Once you have really uprooted your misery, you can just throw the suffering away too. Once you bring your suffering into your light of loving kindness consciousness, the shadow of hell will start to wither away and disappear. If you surface your agony into the light of consciousness, hell will just disappear. Darkness is not a visible entity. Darkness is just nothing, an unawareness. Bring loving light onto hateful darkness, and the darkness simply disappears. You cannot fight darkness with more darkness. You cannot destroy darkness in any other way except to bring light onto it. Practice loving yourself and others and the miracle of existence. Know that happiness is not possible if you do not really love yourself.
The reason I say you must drop the self is because the self is what prevents you from dropping your misery. You may wonder why you cannot let go of your misery, and it is because you have invested in your misery, like putting money into an interest bearing savings account. You have nursed your anger and resentment and your suffering, like a bottle to a baby. A famous author and spiritual guru named Eckhart Tolle once wrote about this being called a “pain-body”. You have attachments that are so tight to your misery, it has become like a good friend or family member.
Also, strangely you will find that you are getting something from your misery. If you are so miserable, then you will find that people pay more attention to you. If you come home and have a terrible day, then your friend or significant other will pay a lot of wonderful attention to you. He or she will commiserate with you, and feel sorry for you. That alone will give you pleasure. Again, know always that pleasure and pain are closely related. You cannot have one without the other. That is a supreme paradox of life that once you embrace it, you will feel so much more comfort at facing life situations that on the surface, appear tough.
The second you start to feel happy again, your significant other or good friend will stop paying attention to you. The moment you are content, then you may find yourself alone. Almost everyone is miserable, and oftentimes lonely. The happier you are, you’ll find a strange paradox. More and more people will stop looking and paying attention to you. You are going to have to stop this desire for attention. With the seeking of attention, the beginning of all suffering results as well.