You can only control yourself and your own thoughts. You can only partly control Society, and it would be a very minor control in that endeavor. If you are the president and CEO of one of the largest advertising companies, you have a little more control in Society, but not much. You are still a drop in a large infinitely large bucket. If you wish to have too much control, if you ask Life to conform to you, the Fates will laugh and punish you. There is a saying, “When you accept the Fates, they will guiode you, if you resist the Fates, they will drag you. Your Society dominated mind is actually a very small part of you that is endeavoring to dominate and control you. If you think you can really control Society, it is sort of like dog’s tail who thinks that it can wag the entire dog.
If you are ever wondering why you feel like other people are hell as Jean Paul Satre wrote, know that you are creating your own hell because you are listening to Society, and believing and digesting its thoughts. Hell is inside you and is created by how you feel the outside world is compared to who you yourself are.
Your ego, as defined by Wikipedia and The Online Free Dictionary as “The self, as distinct from the world and other selves.” “Self-importance”, “conceit”, “Self-esteem” will make your life hell. Without the ego, there is no hell to be experienced. Your ego makes structures around you which make you feel separate from everyone else. The ego is like an open sore, it attracts salt that gets rubbed into its wounds.
The very definition of “self-importance” IS hell. Having that keen sense of self as distinct from others and is “better” than others is in fact…hell. But does one have to suffer and experience hell? Yes and no. You may be lucky enough to not even have an experience of the self, similar to a mentally handicapped person. But the majority of people must experience the pain and suffering of hell in order to escape it. You have to be aware of where you are to get out of where you are stuck in. In a way, you NEED to go into hell in order to destroy hell.
As Winston Churchill once wrote, “If you find yourself in Hell, keep walking.” Being in hell is sometimes, actually every time, is something within your own control. Being in hell makes you reflect on your own actions and how you got to be where you are. Being in hell hopefully also will humble you. Your experience in Hell will hopefully also allow you to begin unlearning everything Society has poisoned you with.
As you are growing up in the clutches of society, you build yourself up higher in terms of society’s eyes, accumulating, achieving, gathering, getting more power, more money, etc. It is a certainty that things will change and someday you will lose all that you have hoarded in one way or another. But when things start being taken away from you, then you will start to gain a deep peaceful feeling inside after you have accepted the worst. You will feel so free. After total surrender…
A common saying (and song lyric) goes, “Freedom is another word for nothing left to lose.” When you are climbing up the ladder, you will do so blindly, gaining conceit, hubris, and ego along the way. But on the way down, you will hopefully learn to drop your hubris and ego and instead gain pick up humility, grace, and freedom. A deep spirituality will come over you, and it could never have happened without your coming down. As painful as it may seem, it was absolutely necessary to swallow that bitter pill. There is no way to learn humility, grace, and the profound sense of freedom from a book. You must earn it through your tears and through suffering.