One of the keys to avoid this emotion of anguish is simply to watch and witness what happened without any judgment. Whenever you start judging, it never ends, and you are comparing and engaging in competition again. You cannot be at peace because your mind will focus on judging others and this too is a never ending joyless battle. You will only bring forth negative energies of hate, rage, jealousy into the surface.
Just watch and witness your surroundings, be fluid, and be flexible. They say that if you have character you are inflexible. Having good character can be protective, but it also kills you too. Once you wish to control everything, you set up all these artificial conditions, and then life will not fulfill those conditions. You can only control yourself and your own thoughts. It is impossible even to remotely control others’ and their ways of thinking. Why try to change it. They have thought and tried to justify their thoughts all of their lives. Would a chance encounter with you change their minds. Why should it? And because you cannot feel the satisfaction of changing the minds of others and of those conditions being met which you have no control over, you are not allowing life to happen to you. You will stay miserable. It is like trying to keep a snowman that you built from melting in a warm sunny winter day. You will only frustrate yourself.
Therefore, the sooner that you can escape the prison of the Society’s mind, the better. The mind you were trained by Society argues in every moment, exclaiming, “This should be that, this should be this.” But real Life (capital L) really occurs only when a person is totally and unconditionally accepting what happens, not resisting it, in whatever form situations come in.
A well known saying among Buddhist is that you are getting closer to Enlightenment if you do not care what this moment brings. It is Society, and your thoughts that bump off of Society and fill your own mind which leads you to unhappiness. Another example is say you are at a car dealership and you buy a new car. You are so happy with it and all of its features and appearance. Then you get home and turn on the television for a while. You next see new car advertisements that come across your screen, with cars that have more advanced features and with a sleeker design and with a cheaper price. Suddenly (almost magically), you feel “buyer’s remorse” and get caught up in their game. You feel dissatisfaction, and wish you did not purchase the car in your garage but rather purchased the one on the television screen.
But if you are “centered”, you will not allow these outside forces affect your grace. You will stay content if you close your eyes and ears to Society. You let the “thoughts of dissatisfaction” enter your mind, and you believed in those new thoughts. Had you had your mind turned off to Society’s new temptations (and part of that is turning off your television), you would have stayed positive and happy.